PAL RAINE

In the past 9 years being a single-parent, Valentine's Day seems a not so celebrated day in my life. Though others celebrate it with much extravagant by giving a heart shaped chocolate-candy boxes, flowers to jewelries, it's easy to believe and envy everyone around who has found true love.

But how do I survive this holiday as a Single-Parent, celebrating Valentine's Day in a different way which is more meaningful.

Honestly, every year I celebrated VDAY(Valentine's Day) with my KIDS., a celebration on UNIQUENESS.

photo credit: Chocolate Valentine's Frame via photopin (license)

SHOPPING, LEISURE TIME and BONDING Of course, we do these everyday...we shop a lot, we eat a lot together, we bond a lot...but do I tell them that I appreciate their presence, that I NOTICE them as a UNIQUE INDIVIDUALS?

This is the time I want them to see and feel that I value them, that I observe their UNIQUE TALENTS and I observe their qualities as they grown.

Part of loving someone is to get to know them inside and out. Yes, I know my children's better, and I know that each of them have different abilities and talents that can develop good opportunities in the future.

I let them explore and do something creative, in such a way, instead of buying Valentine's Card they can make their own hand made cards, a great gift idea for grandparents, teachers, classmates, etc...

We also have time to cook some tidbits from our fridge and make it into a SPECIAL VALENTINE'S DAY MEAL.

Single-parents should not feel that they are a left-out during this day, because hearts and flowers aren't just for lovers---romantically in-love with each other, but also this is the time to honor people who are dear to us, who are always there loving us no matter what.

I am not bitter, but how we can be happy this day if we feel negatively.

As I say from my last post, #FUTUREFriday Single Parent Shoutout --- CHOOSE TO SHINE in any way! Shine with confidence and view life with a new path. Think positively.

This year, I skip going to an event because of health reason, but we have our post VDAY celebration(which I'm going to share for my next post) this coming Feb. 22 together with my friends.

Cheer up single-parents, especially moms like me, this is not the end of the world. We have still our children's with us, they are our romantic baby love. We are the center of their love, we are their UNIVERSE!

Enjoy the TIME FOR OUR SELF first, bring back that courage and confident.

Someday---maybe next year this would change.,next Valentine's Day we will celebrate it with our partner. The one that will bring love and long term stability for us and our children. And to think of waking up each day, that we have someone to EMBRACE, to HUG, to TRUST., that we are not alone with our journey, that someone is there to LOVE US no matter what.

The traditional style for online dating is by joining a website like Match.com or Dating Asia. This is where you're going to see the algorithm of the person you'd like to date or studied potential profiles which can be your partner for life. Start by knowing each other by clicking online chat box, exchanging email addresses that leads to a date.

Now that we are in an era, invade by modern technology in a form of a Smartphone. Greatly advanced the way in which we interact and receive reports. Smartphone is relatively new addition in our life that used for socializing with peers, anomalously post messages to a virtual friend via social networking sites and now invading the online dating world.

Yes, you got it right! Using the mobile app you can have the option to match with anyone that is within your distance. To look for a partner, a boyfriend or a girlfriend just within your radius.

GoTender

TINDER is a matchmaking mobile app. Download the app using ANDROID or iPHONE.

Using the app, you can quickly browse profile and photos.

Find interesting profiles, just by tapping the Heart Button if you LIKE the person and X Button if you Don't LIKE.

And if the attraction is mutual --- It's A Match!

Then you're ready to chat your matches by using the app.

TINDER was launched last August of 2012 by Sean Rad, Justin Mateen and Jonathan Badeen. And won an award as the "BEST NEW STARTUP of 2013".

Though they got criticized about their app because of the said appearance as a "matchmaking app", which is associated with a hookup app, which is labelled as shallow, superficial, vain app in the century. But this false judgement was answered by a Psychological Researcher, Eli J. Finkel , who studies online dating, saying and I quote:

I believe that TINDER'S approach is terrific for pursuing casual sexual for meeting a serious relationship partner.

Ensuring the users that their accounts are safe and implementing SAFETY FEATURES by enhancing location security features and further obscure location data after being contacted.

TINDER number one priority is to continue to secure PRIVACY and SECURITY of the users.

Available in 24 languages, approximately with 24 million users, currently located from Australia, Denmark, United Kingdom, Ireland and New Zealand.

And now making a heat here in the Philippines.

As of January 2015, TINDER users swipe through 1.5 billion Tinder profiles and makes more than 21 million matches per day.

So what are you waiting for --- JOIN, LOOK, MATCH, CONNECT and MEET your possible partner this LOVE MONTH.

Open minded single-ladies and man out there, those who loved to marry someday and enjoy dating for a meantime, and to all single-parents...Hey! this is it--- maybe TINDER is the answer of my recent post about #FUTUREFriday. Hahahaha....indeed!

So happy again with the outcome of my yesterday's post, #THINKBIGThursday. Got an email from a reader and she was relief on what I have said about "LIMITLESS POSSIBILITIES that you can do it"...she can do it! And to my WordPress followers, thanks so much.

Today is Friday and what about Friday? Well, as a single-parent you need also to think of your love life future, time to meet new people and make new friends --- #FUTUREFriday.

FRIENDSHIP & RELATIONSHIP

Be a source of GOOD VIBES. How? Always keep a smile on your face, and don't be like a clown. Let others know that you will always be their at the back to make the place good enough!

As a Single-Parent we are in the stage that after we got pregnant, the labor, the pain of separation, etc...we don't want to accept partner's, because we are still in the process of healing wounds.

I know it's hard. been there and up to now I am still in that stage(a little), but need to get out from that feelings. I realize that, because my relationship didn't work doesn't mean that I'll STOP loving too!

Stabilize your heart, regain a sense of a dominion mind. One way to do that is to eradicate heartache --- how? is to FREED anguish and misery.

They say, you have to mend broken heart enable to survive hurting, for me I want to stay it broken. Yes, leave it broken.

In that way, I have to walk around not sobbing but to practice kindness and care. And begin to shift my understanding in search for love, away from the old notion, "I WANT TO FIND SOMEONE TO LOVE ME", to "I WANT TO FIND A WAY HOW TO GIVE LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD COULD GIVE". With this, the whole world will have a better place.

Not closing my door....

Shine with confidence and view life with a new path. With mental clarity and emotional stability in your heart you will see your entire life as a path.

Remember always, that you're a fun to be with, you're a great friend, anyone would be lucky enough to have you and know you as a friend. Create a foundation with full of JOY not SORROW, Meetups and partying, giving and taking. And do not let the dark power of heartbreak lead you again!

Trust yourself! Life has it's own life and the violence of heartbreak has the power to kill you. So be ready, I know single-parents are tough to handle this kind of situation. We've been to a very rough then, we can surpass it again. Right?

If we love again, just take it easy. I am not saying here not to be serious(that's unfair to our future partner) --- Just pay attention, by cultivating agenda-less awareness of yourself, others, and the flow of life. And not to forget our children, still they are our first priority.

Stay closer for longer and develop a non-judgmental relationship. Longing for love is like asking yourself, "IF LOVE SAFE?".

The moment you fall in love and having a broken heart, both are extremely powerful situation. You need to have strong foundation of friendship if you want to make your relationship last longer.

Finding time for that right person is not easy and become more challenging as you enter to a deeper and romantic stage.

Single-parents are less likely to rush things. If you are into dating it takes months or years to go into a deeper one. Read this post on how to LOVE A SINGLE MOM >>> CLICK ME

Just stay in touch!

There are many ways to get in touch, this allows you to get closer with everyone and widen your circle of friends both new and old.

And lastly, single parents are good in dealing this, knowing on what they want, but not being so stubborn to getting EXACTLY that. You get my point? So WAIT and RELAX, future is on the way.....

Shout now #FUTUREFriday!!!

Don't let anything STOP you from living your dreams. It's time to learn how being at the top and embrace the limitless opportunities coming your way.

If you read my #WORKITWednesday post, a part of my week-long celebration, I used hashtag shoutout made to all single parents like me. To have an overview of daily activities using TIPS and ADVICE based on writer experience.

It's time to LIVE THE DREAM.

Time to go for our BIG DREAM.

Time to THINK BIG!

DREAMS & AMBITIONS

You got pregnant. You have a child. Now that you're a single mom --- what's next?

What's the BIG DREAM that your longing to do for the longest time but you've not started yet? And now you're a single mom, you will ask yourself, --- "can I do it now?".

Embrace the limitless possibilities that you can do it! As I said, think positive always and everything well go smoothly. Life is unpredictable, right? It's like a road map -- after all, you are still the driver of the car, wherever you go...whatever adventure your taking, just go where the road takes you.

Have a clear goal in mind, collect your thoughts and focus what you want. Focusing in one goal become easier with complete determination you can bring your dreams to SUCCESS!

I know this is hard, to start again is not easy. Don't say that you cannot do it, but rather say this word, "I CAN DO IT"!

Oh well, I say that before, "I CAN DO IT"! I'm hopeless that time but I never quit. I am a fighter and have a great determination that I can surpass all. I have a BIG DREAMS and I need to WORK FOR IT. I start by creating a plan, then I look for a support team, I reach out with my family, relatives, friends and also acquaintances like single moms like me and I take a step one at a time.

Dare to go beyond, there's no stopping you from achieving anything, everything you set in mind ---focus.

Don't settle for mediocrity. Go beyond expectations and WOW the world!

Once you found that GOAL --- #THINKBIG don't lose it! Your bound to have that, flourish it and stand above the rest. Don't be afraid, take that as your guide and gravitate it. Use that goal positively, these can be the clues to your compelling enthusiasm and be your stepping stone to a bigger dream and a brighter future.

Be ambitious in life(but with a limit).

Shout now #THINKBIGThursday

I am so happy with the positive feedback I have on my yesterdays post #TRANSFORMTuesday. Thanks everyone for a nice comment, very much appreciated.

To continue my week-long celebration for all single-parents like me, giving useful tips and advice to help gear up for the future together with our children - - - I have here simple stress management tips and relaxation tools.

TAKE TIME TO RELAX AND HAVE A VACATION --- SNEAK AWAY!

As a single-parent, we need to keep busy to forget our personal problems and divert our self to a fruitful one. It's so stressful, either you are working or a stay home parent. It's time to put yourself in a spotlight! Have that confidence to show everyone how amazingly TOUGH you truly are!

BREATH OUT!

You have to be alone sometimes, away from the society, but don't forget to bring your children with you and enjoy the time with them.

Since you've encounter so much problems thinking about things that cause tensions, it is much better to have a mental relaxation, by going to the beach or in the mountains. Relax your muscles and take a deep breath (tell your children to join you). Hear the sounds around you, smell the smells, and tune in the sense of well-being. Meditate and pray!

You can also listen to music, this will help you relax even if you are just at home or reading books or enjoying a hobby that can make your life more fun.

Pursue your Passion

When you do what you love, people stand up and take notice! In my case, I love dancing but I stop when I got pregnant. For many years I wanted to go back in dancing but my priority now are my children. Instead of enrolling for a dance class, I used my money wisely (budget & save it for my children future). Honestly, I don't have regrets, because even if I am not enrolled in a dancing class, I was born to be a dancer --- I dance when I exercise, and that way I can express my feelings!

Now, my passion is writing and this is my LIFE now. I blog and I love it so much. Writing your thoughts and all your activities(a journal), it can help you clarify things and can give you a renewed perspective in life by visiting other blogs and read other's thoughts---it's like sharing!

Procrastination is stressful! Whatever you want to do tomorrow; do it now!

Volunteer for EXTRA WORK - be proactive, take more responsibilities if you know that you can handle them all. Time to be a confident individual, don't mind your past, get their trust and be independent. You can do it! I can do it!

Don't feel alone!

Take Up A Sport or Exercise - if you're tired with work, why not enroll yourself to a ZUMBA or AEROBIC
class. Here you can develop discipline and confidence. With your talent and ability, nothing will hold you back from victory! Once people notice how great you are, everyone will start following you and want you to be in their group. (Make sure you have extra money to enroll, don't think about yourself passion!)

photo credit: Strong B.A.N.D.S. ZUMBA via photopin (license)

At end, always think of our children's welfare.

Our passion is ourselves.

Don't be stress.

Learn to relax.

TINY BUDDHA

Shout now #WORKITWednesday

Everyone is asking how I get the idea about the shout out I've made yesterday, #MOVEUPMonday. Well, honestly, I saw my eldest daughter bring samples of UNILIVER products from school and a little MAGbrochure from #TeenWeekPH. It is a guide for future-ready teens presented by CANDYMAG.COM and I said to myself, "How about to use this hashtag shoutout for single parents like me". I hope this is okay, to get their hashtags and used it for another advocacy, to help my co-single parents.

Don't pity yourself.

Transform yourself in a better way.

Single-parents feel that they are abandoned or think that they are a curse to society.

STOP BLAMING! GIVE IT UP. STOP. LET IT GO.

Best to start is to think POSITIVE. Made up your mind that you have to change, but the question is HOW and WHY?

This is base on my own experience, as I said from my yesterday's post - - I don't know what to do and where to go when I needed help. I was aware that I am alone together with my kids, but the real fact, though I feel tough I am still afraid what will happen with our future.

A feeling of abandonment from myself that I cannot think of a single empath who can deeply perceive what I feel. I know this sounds crazy and you will think this can't be REAL. But my own experience over the last 9 years has taught me to be more TOUGH and FACE exactly the problems.

We are what we repeatedly do.

There are so many changes and choices I've gone through as a single-parent, from a stubborn only child brat to a simplify life - - - what I have now, I am satisfied.

Everyone of us is different - - no one will follow my choices exactly. Even the way I've made myself CHANGE. You really need to figure out what works with you better.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be TRANSFORMED by the renewing of your mind. ~ Romans 12:2

As a single-parent, I keep a journal to write down my feelings, ideas, goals and activity. Writing is one of the most useful things I've done to change my life for good. Yes, it works silently but effectively. You only need a pen and a paper.

Keep a Morning Phrase - say it every morning, by the time you wake up. This really help me...I say something positive and it will come true during the day. Just try and tell me how you feel.
Start a NEW DIET - Don't forget, even if you're alone, you still need to feel good. Single-Parents should not to forget to take care of their health, especially that they're working so hard to earn a living for their children. Think also for your own HEALTH. In my case, I have this DIET PLAN called EAT SIX MEALS A DAY(don't skip meal)and WARM WATER EARLY MORNING.
Start your own business and be your own boss. This is why I manage and owned my netshop. I know, it sounds so shallow but I want to work with my own hours.
Wake up early(although everyone says that this is not a habit, but a lifestyle) and I agree. With these, I can open my shop early and I can make more post in my blog. For waking up early(with a purpose) is keeping an eye to a very big opportunity. As the old quotes says: "EARLY BIRD CATCHES BIG WORMS".

Maybe life wasn't fair for us as single-parents. Yes, I know, I've been there and life is never fair. I cry so many nights with the situations I have, but I never quit. For me, I hug all the negative one's and become my guide to be strong and never give up. It's so unique, fantastic, challenging, one of a kind hard job...and little by little I realize that, I am here to acknowledge life's wonder, not to prove and pin point anybody's fault. They're not wrong, we have different opinions. And that's part of life.

TRANSFORM for the good of your children. Being a parent we are filled with unconditional, life lasting love - - just begin with small steps at a time.

Shout now #TRANSFORMTuesday!!!!

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